the waiting place

And when you're in a Slump,
you're not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they're darked.
A place you could sprain both you elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And IF you go in, should you turn left or right...
or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it's not, I'm afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused
that you'll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.

The Waiting Place...

...for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a sting of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.

~Dr. Suess

Final Exams

My students are taking their final exams today. All the bad ones are left (bc the good ones are exempt). As much as I would like to believe in the beauty and potential of all of my students, I struggle to maintain the idealistic point of view that grad school has vested me with. Only one class period has taken my final and already, three students will fail my class for the year. Considering the number of participation grades I give, this is pathetic. What is more concerning is that they are seemingly oblivious to their situtation. Take "Tra" (long a on the end) for example. This child has recevied an F on every report card he has been issued this year and he made a 35 on my final. He has not turned in one single homework assignment (these generally take 5-10 minutes) and he sleeps through most classes. He is shocked that he is not passing my class. I believe his exact words were, "Shoot, maaaan! I ain't goin to no summer school. How I fail yo class?"

Then there's "Stacey," the greasy haired, racoon-eyed young lady who fails to complete any assignment I give her but always has a sheet of notebook paper covered with hearts and "I love Stephen" (who she was dating until just recently when he started going with her sister, "Misty") written in hopeful bubble letters. THe last poem she wrte for me was called "Boy Crazy" and she pulls up every morning in a small, round car covered in bumper stickers for heavy metal bands as the speakers rattle under the weight of rap's heavy bass. She also failed my final, but at least she admits that she didn't really study much. I was kind of hoping she would pass.

As I put the final grades in the computer and I hit the "post" button, I wonder whether it will make any difference that these students failed my class. I mean, how much harm could it do to pass them? In a vain attempt to maintain my own integrity, I am failing these students, but what if I didn't? What if they "pulled it off" with a 59.5?

Antevasin: An introduction

I'm reading this book: Eat, Love, Pray by Elizabeth Gilbert (I don't know how to do italics or underline yet). I'm stealing her word: antevasin. It means "one who lives at the border." It's a Sanskrit word–right now, she's in India studying prayer, which proves to be a very archaic but beautiful experience. At any rate, I like this word. Plus, using words from other languages feels more accurate to me when I'm describing something, proving language's limited capacity for conveying meaning (a brilliant and daunting concept ). This word feels transcendant... there is something very intriguing about the periphery. So, am I "one who lives on the border"? Dunno. But I really like the idea of achieving comfort there... at any rate, it's a good place to start I suppose.